Alright, this month ended up a flop due to the damn doctor visitations. We had to have 4, with one emergency, so I once again look at unpaid bills, and wonder if I should pray. I’m at the point where a voice in my head just hunches shoulders, and says “nothing else worked, it couldn’t hurt”. Thanks to some people here tho those visitations were possible. I’m really not sure I would’ve pulled four on my own.

Small personal bad thing is that I locked myself out of digital translation office, and they’re not giving me a reset code. It could be due to it being the weekend. Or it could be due to them thinking I’m an idiot. In that case someone out there is preparing firing papers, because they won’t keep me if I don’t keep up with the work, which I can’t do, because I can’t access it!

I’d be willing to offer, thus, a free commission portrait in exchange for a promo. The only requests on my part would be: either have decent views, or stable friendships. Promo would mean a copy-paste of the campaign, or at the very least – relink to a journal entry.

I made a lot of new jewelry too! They’re all underpriced if we consider the time it took to make them, and they’re all as good a quality as I could make them, thus – nothing I wouldn’t wear myself. All links to that are below.

Your Good Deed of the Day: As you may know, or not really, my fam’s in enough trouble for me to have three jobs, and us still be underfed. My mother’s anemic, with broken arm ligaments that left her hand useless, she lost her insurance, and the pains she’s having are borderline unbearable. Medication is by far not free. My father has a poor heart, blood pressure through the roof, diabetes, and now a suspected colon cancer. There’s still a slim chance it’s something else, like a hard ulcer that ends up pumping blood into his guts, and thus makes it seem like it’s cancer, but tests are also paid, and each one crushes another shard of hope. The previous surgeries they had, and the mortgage has put us into deep debt, no joke, we’re looking at approximately 12k euros a year if we don’t wish to end up on street, or parents – in debtor jail. But that would pretty much be all, and unless another emergency struck us – I could pull this on my own.

I’m a freelance translator on the side, regular translator during the night (due to time zone differences), and then every-side-job-I-can-get kid during the day. Means some days I make web pages, other days I write paid blog entries, third day I do journalism and spew 4 articles in 12 hours. I make jewelry, I paint, and after almost 3 years of this – really, I don’t care what else I have to do, as long as there’s hope it’ll end before I expire. I’ve manic depression, it comes with insane suicidal tendencies, and there were times when I doubted I’ll see morning. On top of this gem, I’m transgender, something no one would accept here if they knew, it’s a small town, in a homophobic country. So I’m not even in a good place. And since I can’t pay both mine, and parent’s bills, I have to live with them, just so they can have as much use of me as I can possibly provide. I love them just about enough to repeat this to myself every time I can’t stop thinking about a pill bottle, a scalpel I use for carving, and pencil sharpening, a sturdy belt… But no one’s reading, I feel, so let’s get to the point.

Commissions in exchange for donations!

My past commissions:

MaitsoKane: Rules


Yrdenne: Rules

I will jump on this train and offer Commissions to anyone who donates! ๐Ÿ˜€
You know that I canยดt draw, but you can commission poems, short stories, background stories for your OCs etc.
* Donate either on gogetfunding: [Donate]
* Or get Soukyan a coffee: [Ko-Fi tip]
* show me proof
* send me a note and tell me what I shall write for you!
(please understand that there might be things I just canยดt or donยดt want to write, feel free to ask in advance!)
* please check out my short stories and poems:

Fundraiser Page
Ko-fi Page
Patreon, Commissions
Etsy, Jewelry

Log [0620]

Almost finished ESO: Morrowind expansion. But then the damn main quest got bugged! There’s this part of the quest where you need to go get three items. Two of them are in the chests, one – on a dead guy. The quest items duplicated! You pick it up once, and it doesn’t update quest log, even thou you do get a prompt slide through your screen. It’s when you pick it up the second time that the quest log agrees: yeah, we’re done here. You can do that with chests, but not the corpse! Corpse bloody disappears! So now I’m stuck waiting for a fix patch.

I got myself some Russian Grey Lipton tea, and it’s very good. Much better than, say, Earl Grey, if I’m honest. It’s black tea, has good flavor to it, and very little of any smell.

Dracula Vs. Hitler turned out to be a very good book, and I really hope I can get a physical copy of it someday soon. It’d do good to have it in my Dracula collection. It lift up my morals a fair bit. Funny… Once again during a depressive stupor I ran into a Dracula book and it helped me out of it. There’ll be a review of the book tomorrow over at [<a href=””>Night Mode Reading</a>]

Tomorrow evening Steam Sale starts (it’s at 8pm my +2 time, so, Bulgarian, German, and English friends, check your time with Lithuanian)

[Promo] Kennie J.D. ์ผ„๋‹ˆ์ œ์ด๋””

I really enjoy simple slice-of-life YouTube channels, vlogs, or just people with great personalities. And YouTube recommended was been real kind to me recently! Besides getting a handful of new booktubers to follow, I found this wonderful woman here:ย Kennie J.D. ์ผ„๋‹ˆ์ œ์ด๋””

Her channel has good structure, and she makes all kinds of great videos. From beauty stuff, to music, to, my personal favorites, story times. I like Asian cultures in general, but I don’t believe in only taking the good parts from any of the culture, so this is a double win here: she does not sugar coat, and she does speak about the bad things too in every day life in (this case) Korea.

Best of E3

Metro: Exodus, a sequel to Metro 2033, and Metro: Last Light, and hopefully better than the third book! We can expect this game sometime next year:


A Way Out – a great looking co-op game, something I always love. Hopefully it’ll be even more fun than it looks like right now! Also, hey, make 4 player co-ops sometime, I’ve a gang of three!


Far Cry 5 – I’m not a fan of this franchise, but I love their ideas behind the main nutbags.

And a TON more!

Log [06-13]

Couldn’t fall asleep because of the splitting headache. Naturally that means a lot of time to think, so I got up with beginnings of a bad depression spell. But then the day went on pretty decent. I’ve been approved for two translations I ought to do via today (one of them didn’t give me the file yet, and needs the text by the midnight). A friend got me Metro Redux bundle, I’m real happy about that, and will indulge into that heaven when I possibly can.

It’s really annoying how every translation office/bureau has their own translator tools, and text tools. Mostly because it means you’ll have to do everything through their system, in which case everything will have to be approved before it passes between you and the client. So now I have 12 hours to translate a cheap little text that isn’t worth my time, but I cant’ afford to decline anything right now, and I do need to learn how to use their system, so, practice, and no one yet gave me that said text.

Someone buy me a coffee, I want to bang my head against the table!

Buy Me a Coffee at

Summary [05-11]

I should keep a diary, for I forget things I ought to write in the blog. But here goes, summary of this week.

It started pretty damn okay. Sold a handful of jewelry, and a small stack of books. Ebay had this great thing where I could list a ton of items free, so I put my English books there. Dumbo that I am, I now remembered I’ve another stack on the other side of the room I could also put up there. So that’s good all in all.

I’ve got a great postcard, and a wonderful package/letter, both from Germany. Postcard I already showed off everywhere, and the package is just too dear and near for my heart to show everything, but here’s one of the greatest inventions you will ever see:


That, my friends, is a teacup cozy. And there were also these weird amazing teas stashed in there too. Underneath where you can’t see it, because I’m an idiot, there’s roasted corn + barley Korean brand tea, and I think it’s my new favorite. For one, it smells like coffee. I like coffee smell, I don’t like coffee, so win1. For two, it has roasted corn flavor, a.k.a. kinda tastes like good popcorn, so win2. And for three, barley takes away the nasty sweetness corn often has that I don’t like (but if you ARE a sweet tooth – a chip of chocolate, a spoon of honey, or a bit of sugar will make this the best drink you ever had), so here’s to win3!

There’s also my future tattoo enclosed in this package, which I will guard with my life until the day I can get it. I’ve decided I actually really want one on my upper foot, I know it’s extremely painful, but upper limb parts are just sexi to have inked. So here’s to good kind of suffering in the future.

The day after I got this package I sat by the open window, watching The Danish Girl, sipping that barley/corn tea, and allowed myself a moment of remembering who I am. In my every day life I forbid myself thinking of it, because I’m too afraid I will never reach this goal, that the obstacles will crush me. So, thank you for the moment of peace I had, my lovely friend โค

I also finished Child of Light, and geezus that game hits you right in all the feels. It’s an amazing fairy tale, even if the battles are bit repetitive and annoying. The music is unbelievable. I’d pause game just to listen some, it was THAT good. And now, I just received Meadow, from another friend, so I guess I’ll have something to fill in the empty space in my life where that game has just been. I’m so grateful to the two of you โค

Lured another friend into trying out The Wolf Among Us, since it’s a brilliant piece with, again, good music (not as good as Child of Light, but good in this dark Sin City sort of vibe), so there’s that. Finished those damn Sherlock fan books, which were both terrible. Am almost done with Graceling trilogy, and the third book is really not that bad.

Oh, and, the friend who got me Meadow, she also gave me her crafting supplies to use as I see fit until she needs them (a.k.a. I am free to use it up if it happens). We agreed on a small little business plan so that my consciousness doesn’t kill me, and I spent a day trying to figure out where to put it all, because there’s A LOT of things! A LOT. So here’s to another thing (yes, I do expect you to sip tea when I say that, or anything else you got at hand) – all the new shiny things I will make, and super intense bookmarks that are about to happen, because you need to see that yarn…