log | 05-21 2018

As positive as I want to stay, the situation we are in is too severe to be able to. And due to a lot of legal reasons, I can’t even disclose some of the things we’re going through. But here’s what.

Mum’s not likely to get a disability, because she’s too mobile for the severity of her pain, while that’s all on her will and painkillers. Meaning from next month on, she doesn’t get a dime anymore from anywhere, leaving it all on me

With all the things I do, and a bit insane sums I pay, every month we’ll be short a minimal wage (which is not a livable wage either) sum. I’ve counted through my schedules, I could likely make 4 hours free during them, and just make a power run through it. But power runs are just the thing: you give all you have for a short period of time, so you can have a breather. In my case, I don’t know when the breather would happen, and whether I wouldn’t reach my break point first.

For over a decade now I’ve been battling depression. Last year was worse than this year, but this year isn’t yet good. I don’t know what to do, and I’m insanely afraid. Situation would be one day remedied by having the debts paid off, for I literally give up a family’s worth of income to cover them up. But until that day comes… Pray for me.


ED | RedBull Summer Edition

2018_05_02_IMG_6606So as you know, or maybe you don’t, we here, in Lithuania, don’t have all that many types of Energy Drinks, so I’m pretty stoked whenever new flavors of old stuff happen.

A few days back I heard there’s a new Summer Edition RedBull at one of the local stores, and I started rolling towards it. The store only had two left in the otherwise emptied out shelf, so I took them both, just in case.

If you’re wondering here, why, assuming we have Tropical and Grapefruit Summer Edition RedBull, I have not spoken of those, here’s a short review: Grapefruit one is too sour; Tropical one is too sweet; I loved Winter Edition with plumes and cinnamon, but it’s no longer available, so I don’t have a photograph of the can, and therefore – will not review it in length until I get my claws on it again – it was very tasty and unusual.

This one’s very classy. Kiwi and Apple is that milder cousin of, say, Sour Apple flavored RockStar (we do not have Rockstar here, Rockstar, could you please infiltrate??). Not too sour, not too sweet, pretty good. Something one would expect from an overpriced can of Energy Drink, right?

Verdict: yeah, it’s pretty good.

Summerset PTS beta testing and how I couldn’t use the gift


Some if not most of you already know, Summerset, another chapter is coming to ESO soon enough now. As of May, if I’m not wrong, PTS is available for all. But this is a very short and riveting tale of how I was invited to do closed beta testing. And couldn’t.

One day I awoke to a letter from Elder Scrolls online, inviting me to come test Summerset in Closed Beta. There was a huge page of rules of what’s allowed to disclose, what’s not, and when will the non-disclosure agreement be lifted. The rules weren’t very strict, and allowed quite some freedoms, so I was stoked. I thought, wow, I’ll stream this, my Twitch will not be as dead as it is, I’ll show you, and my friends, all the wonderful things Summerset surely has to offer!

So I google what wasn’t clear to me, and start downloading the PTS (Public Test Server). First trip: I don’t have the space for it in my HD. So what I do, is I delete everything I can, keeping only the essentials, which I deemed to be ESO, of course, and GTAV, since that’s one of the rare games I could play with more than one of my friends.

Still, it doesn’t fit. So I resort to installing it into main disk, that is kept for system only, there’s space left for backups and emergencies there, and what is PTS for Summerset if not an emergency, right? Right.

After approximately 6 hours of downloading and installing things, it threw me another error: not enough space. Why? Because it downloads, and installs, so there’s the semi-downloaded files, the downloaded files that are going through installation as it continues, taking up new space that’ll later be freed by deleting the already downloaded file it used to install itself, to download the rest, and whatever other trash one can imagine.

I googled again as of how to uninstall this without uninstalling ESO itself too, and… Well, still uninstalled ESO instead. We’re talking about roughly 60-90 GB of space here. At first I was mighty confused of what did I do, but figuring I’m a moron, I tried installing PTS again. And again it dropped me an error of lacking space. So with only GTA on my hard, I still didn’t have enough room for the damned thing. And this time we’re talking about a really fair amount of space, so imagine the expanding it goes through with download / install / download kind of tactics. I may be wrong tho, I guess. It might have simply been an error in general, that was falsely marked as space shortage.

So. Yes, I didn’t get to play Summerset therefore. Yes, I am very stupid for having my disk split into two, for surely that would solve me some space troubles, but hey, that’s how I roll.

I can’t say I’m all that sad tho, since I’m perfectly okay with first experiencing it with my friend, instead of alone or with strangers. It might have been a nice little entry for other future testings tho.

So that’s that. In the age of huge games, ya can’t be as dumb as I am! But also, well, don’t cry over spilled milk, I guess.

Trash Panda

Meet Trash Panda. And it’s not just his rapper name. It’s a literal title too.

Dunno about things in your country, but here, people who throw out still usable things, tend to put them beside the dumpster, not inside, so that someone who might need it – could find it easily, without digging through actual trash. I forget where I was going when i saw this baby, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

See, I love pandas. I think they’re adorable, interesting, magical, and badass too. It’s amazing how I never owned much with pandas tho, and just recently started noticing things about that I could have, and cheer myself up while looking at. Anyway, Panda.

On my way back, I was determined, if I see it again, it’s going home with me. And here it was, sitting by the dumpster, on a plastic bag full of other soft toys, with a little stain by his nose. So I took it home, unable to leave the adorable creature behind.

Home Trash Panda got a bath of disinfectant, just in case, a bath of soap, and a bath of hair conditioner, to restore that fur after the rough baths. Then the long-ass drying process, and here we are!

Panda is now a family member, wearing my favorite bandanna, and sometimes sporting some chains for photo-shoots.

Riveting Tale: Apagard, Thank You, Rachel and Jun

I learned about Apagard from one of the Rachel and Jun‘s videos “10 Japanese Things America Needs“, I’ll put the video below. Watching it you might say, but hey, they speak about many things, why didn’t you get a blanket or something, instead?

Because I have a problem, okay?? Shower gels and toothpaste are my kryptonite. I see a new one, I want it. Less so with shower gel, but very much so with toothpaste. So when Jun explained things about it, I knew I must have it.

I ordered it about a day after the video came out, because first I needed to talk myself into it: price + shipping made up to one serious splurge on a toothpaste. Not a fortune per se, but a fortune for a toothpaste. How much, you ask? Well, I don’t remember. Something around 10 dollars tho, I’m sure.

I can’t say I’m sure whether I ordered a right one either. I aimed for the most basic one, and this seemed right. No whitening bullshit, thank you. And today it finally came!

It came in a paper envelope, taped with very high quality paper tape (probably using custom strong paper glue, for it held on like hell), in an unpoppable pink bubble-wrap. I don’t like popping bubble-wrap, but even I think that it’s an evil creation. But hey, first time I saw pink bubble-wrap!

The product I received is definitely Japanese, with not a word I could understand, so, naturally, I sent the most important question to a Japanese-reading friend: what are those other kinds of toothpaste show on the manual slip?? We’re awaiting answer! In the meantime, I got to admire the package. The box is very nice, not only shut together with regular pull-out tab, but also glued, so there’s definitely no way you could “swatch” this in store (I dread finding toothpaste without foil safety seal on it). As I said, there was a description slip inside too, one you’d find in a medication box, which is fair, since this also says it’s medical. And then there’s the tube. Definitely smaller than your regular size tube, but so nice and slick. Design is very pleasant, very clean, the cap opens very smoothly, something I always miss with toothpaste that has a cap that you pop – it fills up with residue, or from the very start doesn’t align perfect, so eventually you risk breaking it off. So, yes, props for packaging.

I used it today, about 20 minutes ago, for the first time, after my dinner. There’s no flavoring to it, which I never realized bothered me. Seriously, toothpaste flavors bother me. And I know it now! Because, here’s the glory in no flavor: there’s no aftertaste, and no strange feel on your tongue, and no dryness to your mouth. It’s perfect. You just brush your teeth and you’re done, you’re happy, you can have your water or sip your tea.

As for how effective it is, I guess we’ll see when I finish it, or when I notice results. I’ll try to remember to let you know about it, feel free to remind me time and again! For now I can say my teeth feel very nice and clean, so it serves the purpose.

Blue, Pink, Purple

Before the Friday that I went out with a friend, I went ahead and had my mohawk bleached. That day my street didn’t have hot water, so the hairdresser heated a bucket full of it, and was carefully washing my hair afterwards. Now, this is important, the way she did it, and the discomfort I assume she had, by having to use a freaking pail to put water on my soaped up hair. For I felt the yellow canceling solution go in, and I can’t confidently say I am sure she washed it all out. Bear with me, this is indeed important.

I come home tired, I always get a bit tired after I spend too much time talking to people. So I decided I will paint my hair the next day. Yes, bleaching had a purpose, I was about to have my hair lilac. I wanted it dusty rose pink, or something, but lilac was on sale, so I went with lilac. One becomes cheap when one has this many medical bills piling up. And I almost talked myself out of it too. Anyway, next day comes, I begin the process.

Here’s how it goes. I assume my hair is clean, because I came out of hairdresser, right? So I just go in with the paint. I used up the whole tube of it, on my half-shaven head of short hair, so I’ve really no idea what people with full heads do, buy five or something? Anyway, I paint my hair, I wait the wait, I wash the wash. My hair’s pretty great, considering the dye wasn’t top-notch.

The very next day I notice an oddly bluish strand peeking out, leaving me to wonder: did I not apply the paint right? Because it’s right at that spot on my head, where it’d be hard to reach to put product in OR. To wash product out.

By today I have unicorn hair. There’s thick strands of blue, purple, and pink. Seriously, people go to hairdresser to get this effect that I got due to a few accidents, I guess. The most important one being the yellow canceling solution.

Lilac is what? Blue, Pink, yellow tones there and here to avoid making it purple or violet. Cancel it out, maybe have another color brighten up (say, purple cancels out yellow, right? so if you’d put purple on just the right tone of hair – it’ll stain the hair purple), and here’s what you have. It’s not a good effect as in you can tell something probably went wrong here, but it’s pretty in its own way, so I really don’t mind one bit.


Wake Up


Since my blog hasn’t been up for that long, some of you likely don’t know that I loved finding new sports/energy drinks, and reviewing them too. But I kinda ran out of them. We don’t get all the Monster flavors here. We don’t have Rockstar or Relentless here. We’ve some good things, and a whole sea of bad things. And then there’s a few okay-things.

Friday, same one I went out with my friend to sorta celebrate her getting a nice new job, I used the time to get into this candy store. At times they have unusual things we don’t have commonly. What we don’t have commonly? Well. Reese’s Peanut butter cups, for one. Different Oreo flavors. Mikado poki sticks aren’t in regular stores either.

This time I was on search for some small thing for my niece, for her birthday is coming up (she’ll be 3 years old, a whole grown little grizzly¬†bear), preferably a candy that had a toy trait to it. I found it. One of those push-out lollipop holders in shape of a pony unicorn (the purple one, I dunno their names, sorry). I had something very similar when I was, well, fairly older than she’ll be, and I remember I loved it, because it served great in the sand-box afterwards. So I got her that.

In the same section my eye caught, well, an eye. Or two. “Wake Up“, it said, Energy Drink. I had to take it. It was calling me.

I intended to have it in the car, since we were both very tired after the day, and so thirsty that once again I pondered about people who just don’t drink water. I didn’t drink it at the car though. For that’s the thing, I bought a large bottle of water (I don’t have a water bottle, please don’t judge me! The cheapest one I saw for the amount that was fair was 7e, and that’s just a bit steep right now!), and drained half of it before I reached home, so… A bit more than half a liter. After that, you don’t really want no soda, no nothing. You’re happy, you’re sated, you’re hydrating from inside-out.

I drank this a few hours later, at home, after a slim dinner, because apparently I lose apetite after I get tired. And it was quite alright. The flavor is generic Energy Drink flavor, which is fine with me (original RedBull, for instance, or any cheap 250ml cans really). It didn’t wake me up, I fell asleep like a baby, but that might be because I’m not very sensitive to caffeine (or taurine for that matter). And no, that’s not because I consume drinks like that. I don’t really drink coffee either. It’s just not as effective on me. If I get a boost, it’ll be short-lasting.

So, the verdict. It’s good if you’re okay with generic. The can is pretty, and almost mat, and the size isn’t challenging, for, don’t know about you, but half a liter of soda? Ugh, I can’t finish that (usually I start a can in the morning and through the day, finish it in the evening).