A small update, and little thoughts. I’m doing pretty good with NaNoWriMo. The story is nothing special, really, but I’m glad I’m getting it out of my system for once. I had this story in me since I was around 14, so that’s more than a decade now. And while writing I kept referring to one character in different words, indicating different possible age. It all came down to who’s observing him. To someone closer to his age, he’s a young man, to someone far older – he’s a boy. And it dawned upon me, how weird it is that so many guys find it offensive to be called boys. Women get called girls all the time, really, all the damn time, it’s just sort of a “kinder word” at times, which isn’t the case, it’s not, don’t use it that way. But people do it. Yet “boy” is not kinder, unless your grandma calls you that. Why?
Yesterday mum had a very bad episode of pain. It’s ridiculous how no one can do anything, and just keep sending her from one doctor to another, with excuses such as “I’m not the specialist of this particular thing” – so why in oblivion were you assigned? Why did your colleague send us to you? Why did you make her come in, knowing what the visitation will be about in advance? Because they can decline a visitation, they really can, but they never do!
My right eye keeps hurting badly all day today. I suspect my blood pressure is through the roof due to the over stressing and lack of sleep. The only good come out of it via these two days is that I’ve read Summer Palace by C.S. Pacat, and it was very sweet, and captivating enough to put my mind at ease so that in the end I could indeed fall asleep, and not just stare at the ever lighter ceiling through the night, thinking too many thoughts, overthinking too many things.
To end this on a positive note: Dracula fandom is real damn nice. People are kind and accepting, it’s so weird. I wrote a mere post, only vaguely mentioning that the last three nights of terror were at last beaten with help of a book that featured Dracula in it, and many replied, telling me more stories, recommending more books. In his life the warlord was surrounded by a very miscellaneous soldiers. It seems that he picked people not by their birth or rank, but by their capabilities, and likely regretted the times he couldn’t follow this rule (due to known recorded failures, that happened when people who weren’t close circle got involved in his plans). Just made me think, that somehow that man still picks people by hand.
Yes, I am aware I’m a bit crazy. But I like people who struggle to not only survive, but win against all the odds. Like Watney from The Martian, you know?