Log | The Video Games; eso, gtav


You know what’s good? Reward systems. And lemme tell you how mine works thus.

I have 4 calendars on my table, since I am unable to find one that could do all the things I need. For I need to write things down, but I also need to mark things up. Usually if you can write things, there’s too much room to mark things, and you don’t have as good a visual as you’d like. Then there’s also a planner which I draw into my notebook myself. It has month title, days – horizontal; things I want to do daily – vertical. And so I just mark days out. The goal is to have one vertical line filled for the day, and have as many of them as possible. By no means do I aim for it to be fully filled, let’s be reasonable with ourselves (but at the same time, let’s push ourselves to the limit and see what’s beyond it).

So, I have daily things, plus I have daily work pieces, since I have 4 blogs, two groups, and two more side projects. Some are paid, some, like this one here, are here for pleasure of mine, and ease of my friends.

Say, today is my busiest day, but I choose to have 2 log entries too. I could take them out, and just claim it is a busy day, I won’t work extra. But how will I ever expand the limits, if I don’t push at them whenever I reach them?

Enter Reward System.


Everyone has guilty pleasures, I am sure of it. The thing between guilty pleasure and just a pleasure is the “shouldn’t” factor. Say, you want ice-cream, but you also want to lose weight, buy that book, go on that trip. Here’s how you can use reward system: every time you want the ice-cream, take the money that the treat would cost, and bring it back home, without buying the ice-cream. Put it in a jar or something. Next thing you know, you’ll have the spare money for the book, and if books are a guilty pleasure too – some of the “shouldn’t” factor is removed, for you wrestled your other wants for it. One battle at a time is good enough, believe me.

In my case, it’s video games. I like to pretend I’m working by turning off video game sound, and turning on an audio book. Yes, that does mean I have new material for three blogs. But why do I feel so bad anyway? Because most likely after the 6 hours audio book to play out on double speed – I didn’t do anything else. Sometimes I get motivated to work, but that’s usually not with games that I play with no sound on. It is more often those games that engage me with a story, so I’m really just tricking myself.

Instead what I do now, is I do all the work, even the one that I didn’t want to do, even the stuff that I am too lazy to do, even the things I don’t really have to do. I just do it. And then, at the set limit of time, I can start playing video games, sound on or off, don’t matter. It removes the “guilty” from pleasure to me. And as I said, I am absolutely certain there are many, many aspects in life where you can use this in.

Just make sure you stay nice, kind, and healthy, okay? You’re great, I love you, and you should love you too.


Vision Board | Horror Books

I really miss good classic horror. I write a bookblog, where I go by name Nosferatu. The book blog is named Carpe Noctis, seize the night. It was meant to be a gothic / horror book review corner, a.k.a. among the stuff that I read, it had to have at least one horror review a week. But that just didn’t happen! I either read a lot in one go, and reviewed them in one go, or I didn’t read any horror. Mostly because it’s too bothersome to find any, when your TBR is up to ceiling and beyond. But this is for the vision board, that some day I have not only a Diverse entry a week, but also a Horror entry a week.

In fact, ideally my submissions would look like this per week: Diverse (race, religion, lgbt+), Horror, Non-Fiction, Other
4 entries a week is NOT unreasonable. But it does take effort and time. So I guess we just start small, yes? Baby steps.

This video is a good example of horror love. Also, I need blue and pink/purple lights. For science and reasons.

Long Summary of Everything

A lot of things have happened. I’m just gonna mention the highlights, just to get myself back into making these summaries every Sunday,  okay? Okay.

Went to see Deadpool 2, something I have mentioned here. It was great. Went to the museum to see a mammoth afterwards, and that was also really great. I’m still enjoying the image in my head of a dog sized fluffy horse herds running around.

Went to see Love, Simon. Must say, nothing makes a 28 year old guy feel more like an old man, than going to a same movie as a whole bunch of teenage girls. Still, good for them, I approve the acceptance, wherever it comes from. My friend seem to have enjoyed the movie too. We laughed, we might have or might not have cried like babies too, and we mutually agreed that Simon’s parents can have their own movie, they’re awesome, and funny, and great.

I won an ESO: Summerset DLC, preorder edition too, so I got the firey mount with it. It’s great, because I wasn’t about to spend the money I need for other things on a dlc, as much as I wanted it. Luck’s on my side, thank You, Universe, and all that jazz. It’s a great DLC, if you can snag it cheaper some place – do, the quests are interesting, the new things to do are fun, and there’s even new bard music:

Daily rewards and new crates started there too. Crates are meh, but daily rewards are not so bad. You get about 25 a month, so you can skip days, as long as you make it via those 25 days during the period of the month they’re for, you’ll get everything. I got a beautiful fox pet from it, a lot of trash from crown crates, that can’t be turned into gems, because they’re not technically from crown crates (like poisons, potions, foods, scrolls), and some new crates. For which I regret buying them in the first place now, but what can you do.

Put out a lot of books for sale, and am thinking if maybe I can put some up on ebay or something. Mostly because I really don’t know what to do with them, they’re too misc. to be taken locally, and I don’t want to throw them away either! We’ll see, I guess, I might come up with something eventually.

One of these days I’ll also tell you of a mini-meet we had with a friend who came for a vacation. We went to hang out in the park, and me being me, I got home with a baggy full of oak caps, feathers, and all kinds of greenery. It deserves a post on its own for many reasons.

Alright, so let’s say that that’s that for now, okay? I’ll try to get back in track with this, it’s a good little meditation and appreciation practice to write summaries like this. After all, lots of good things happened. Lots of. It’s pretty amazing. And all it takes is look beyond the doom and gloom that you get to stare at day in and day out otherwise.

Book | The Cruel Prince | Holly Black


Author has a great writing style, the plot twists were perfect, often I didn’t even suspect one coming. I loved that Jude wanted to be a knight to set her feet in the Faerie, and not, say, find a good match of a husband to do that for her. What I didn’t like was the romance line. The whole “I treat you like dirt, because I like you” and “I almost killed you, because THEY would’ve killed you” is unpleasant to read to say the least. I hate how easily heroines, yes, heroines! forget all about the fear and horror they’ve been put through by the man who is kissing them now. I’ll give this book 3 out of 5, and will read the next one, with hopes it grows into something better. The plot outside the romance is great, and romance can improve, the way Sarah J. Maas books did (that’s personal opinion, of course).

Hey? I write a bookblog over here: Night Mode Reading

BookTube | P.S. I Love That Book

So, after all the shit that happened thanks to some horrible people over on YouTube, the said YouTube decided to change their algorithms again, and the rules while they’re at it. One of the rules cracks down hard on small YouTubers, for it pretty much cuts them off, takes their partnerships away. Now you have to have quite a large sum of subscribers and a hellish hour count of views to have it. Meaning, small YouTubers will simply be buried by the algorithm, and we’ll continue “enjoying” the already big YouTubers who have the time, the means, and the YouTube support behind them due to having partnerships, and possibly – no day jobs to interfere with video making.

But hey, we can help! Here you see one of my favorite people out there, Hannah from P.S. I Love That Book, and yes I am very biased, and not just because I joined her made project of book blogging. At times I enter her videos via the jewelry she wears or even unboxes. But you might find her interesting too, since she’s a sweet and jolly person, passionate about what she does.

So what can we do? Well, first of all, subscribe. Second of all: go to their profiles, your favorite small YouTube’ers, or Hannah here, and click “play all”. Next you can just mute the video or the whole tab (right click on the tab), and just leave it there, playing. It might work, it might not, but we have to try, right? (I do greatly believe that indifference more often than not is as evil as doing purposely evil thing)

Log | Inktober, Organizing, and NaNoWriMo

I have finished Inktober! I set to do it, and I did it, by the official prompt too, all pandas. I’m very proud of myself, because this was the first challenge I set for myself this year, and I have not failed. So, for me, Day One was October 1st, and just how great is that?

That said, I have just entered NaNoWriMo data into the official page, and will begin writing every day tomorrow, to reach the goal of 50.000 words in a month, a novel in one month. Now, this one has a far greater chance to be a fail, but then, how can it be a fail, if I start and write at least a quarter of that, right? It’s nothing but gain to try. I found this great inspirational blog entry on Goodreads, if anyone needs encouragement: [These 24 books won NaNoWriMo]. Don’t know about you, but I have half of these books on my to-read list, and some I’ve already read, so, woah.

I’m working on an awesome project I won’t share details on, just gonna say it involves a lot of paper and paper-y testing, so I need quite a bit of space around me. And I don’t have a lot of that to begin with, so I’ve been re-organizing my shelves today for at least a couple hours, with Hocus Pocus playing in the background. I can’t say I’m a 100% pleased with the results, but some things did work out in my favor. See, I want practicality more than I want beauty, but then if it’s practical but ugly – I feel bad for it. I’m so ready to pack some books away. I just need to dedicate a day, take pictures, upload the good stuff on ebay or whatnot, and the rest – give away, donate. I mean, I don’t even have all the books I truly and honestly want to have in paper, for keeps, forever and ever, so why would I hang on to stuff I don’t care about all that much? So if I could just get rid of one side of my bookshelf, keeping the other one as a wall between my work space and the rest of the room – that’d be great. We’ll see tho. For the time being I’m ded and dusty. Yes. Ded.

Yesterday was a great day btw. I received two great things from USA, and I’m so sorry for everyone who ever sent me anything from USA, the shipping for you is the worst!

I’ve got a wonderful postcard with a letter in it, that inspired me, and made me very happy. And I’ve got a very heavy package full of crafting supplies. No joke, it’s a giant-ass bag full of beads, chains, bits and pieces, and oh it is glorious, fam, it is so very glorious. I’ve been sifting through it, allowing my mind to wander around in the possibilities. Except great things. But likely only in December, I’m giving myself some fair share of slack here for NaNoWriMo. But we’ll see, really, I type really fast, so maybe it won’t be a challenge at all!


In the meantime, I continue to organize things in that small way, you know? where you shuffle things around, put them tidier together, maybe make a box for this thing, and get a rubber band to hold it together for that thing. If I remember anything I was supposed to tell you – I’ll write about it soon. Like, I’d like to tell you how Julie and Julia movie has inspired me to blog in the first place, for once.

Summary: 11-17

Not too much this week, not too much. But wasn’t a lazy week either. I mostly painted paintings, and repainted things, in between my actual work.

First of all, I painted Vernossiel from TW3: Wild Hunt, a female scoia’tael commander you can find somewhere in Velen (she’s part of a witcher contract quest), and I’m pretty damn happy about it. It didn’t get much feedback, but hey, life’s not all about feedback. Besides, that’s mostly due to friends going through their own rough times.

Got my silver colored Molotow paint marker at last, and went to town with it, so to speak. I repainted an orange skull goblet silver, because orange is not my thing, to be honest. I painted all the scraped up, shabby things that I had laying about too, like drawer handles, bottle caps, old cabochons. And painted some experimental pieces too, for testing purposes, because, say, fimo, has oils in it, and these paints are alcohol based, so I’ll see whether fimo can take the painting in any of the forms (raw pre-bake, post bake).

I’ve listened to the book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself“, and, honestly, some things make too much sense there. I might try to implement these things into my meditations, even if I don’t believe some of the things said there. Maybe I just need to change that part of me that doesn’t believe, and everything will be okay, who knows? We’ll see.

Then I tidied up some of my [Etsy] listings, not all of them so far, but quite a few. Yes, there’s new items among them therefor.

And, well, that’s about that. Other than the fact that we’r’e risking getting electricity cut off, mum’s in a shitton of pain, and it’s intensifying, and that we’re bumping heads in Netflix during the only time I can watch it – I welcome autumn. Got tea, got warm socks.


Summary: Goodbye, Summer

And hello Autumn, Halloween, Saovine!

The week was pretty good. Heck, I dare say it was good. There was a lot of work, but I managed to do everything on time. Even had a free weekend, but even without it – everything went well.

For some reason Autumn for me means more sales. I don’t know, maybe I just make very Autumn-y jewelry? Either way this meant that as the week started, my jog-work-home track became jog-mail-work-home. Later it became jog-atm-mail-work-home, because the ATM nearby broke, and our Post Office takes no cards. It broke while three of us stood in line by it. It broke for the lady before me. I warned the person behind me that it broke, why she didn’t warn us – I don’t know. It still meant I had to go all the way to the other side of the town to an ATM. But!

But. On one of these trips I found a lost, broken necklace, a little bit gothy. That’s my favorite thing – unwanted, broken jewelry I can revive for new life. On the same trip I went into a second-hand store too, and found a scarf with skulls on it! I collect these. Got three now. Four if we consider them Halloween themed. Second-hand stores are the best!


Later in the week A. and L. picked me up to go watch The Hitman’s Bodyguard. I laughed to tears. The car stunts were amazing, actors were perfect, and soundtrack was great! I really can’t wait for when I can watch it again. While waiting for the movie we went to A.’s, where she made me this wonderful pear+chocolate tea. Sadly, I didn’t find such anywhere, but I got other two boxes that had pears on them. What can you do. After the movie we went to L.’s, where we ate pizza, and just chatted. I browsed all the presents I got too.

L., from her trip around the Baltic Countries, brought me (us) this compressed hand towel, with a dino on it. I really love these towels, they’re really useful, especially in my line of work, where paper towels are at risk to fall apart, and leave paper-y residue on my work, so if anyone wants to get me more – please do. And this wonderful squishy skeleton. He glows in the dark too! H., our friend from Germany, came back to Lithuania for a vacation, and brought me some things she said she will: a couple of books on vampires, and jewelry for me to recycle. But she didn’t say she’ll pack it into a Ravenclaw bag! A RAVENCLAW bag! For one, I really needed one of these, since my old one has square holes in it, made by really hard books. For two, it’s a RAVENCLAW bag! I love it to bits.


The next day L. made wonderful lunch, and we spent the day playing Lego Marvel Superheroes. We’ve two more levels to go. We got stuck at Magnetic Personality, all my fault really, since I didn’t check a thing I thought I checked… The other levels we’ll be keeping for when she returns from Sweden.

Everyone around me were very kind. I chatted through the day with some people, others went out of their way to send me a note. I’m very grateful for it, for every small thing. Most of my life I felt very much alone on the battlefield. I’m happy to say I don’t feel alone anymore.