For years now, a story I keep telling and telling, my fam has been struggling so immensely, that I honestly didn’t think we’ll survive. Even to this day the struggle is too real, and I can’t stress enough how lucky I am to have friends who can lend cash during the worst of it, and those who pass some on without being asked too. Those people are who got me through this far, and those are the people for whom I push away the dark little voice at the back of my head that tells me I’m useless and should go die in a ditch. It’s not over yet, but I hope.
Recently I have discovered a YouTube section full of really awesome people who take up challenges to live on extremely tight budget if any for reasons of: because they did so, they had to do so in the past; because they want financial freedom, and so they save on every corner they can cut; because they understand the struggle, and can sympathise or emphathise. I have no idea how both those words are spelled, but believe you me, there are people who were in my position out there, who got out of it, and yet have no empathy or sympathy for others in those shoes. Their reasons remain their own, of course.
Here’s one fun little series of a very jolly and fun Wales girl / young woman, Taz. The challenge is: one pound a day (that’s a little bit over an euro).
For a few very rough years now I live on an intense budget that sometimes implodes too. Long story short: I’m trying to keep my folks afloat, and there’s a lot of medical debts, and bills, and meds to buy, and so on. It’s a lot of money, and my three jobs barely, very, very barely covers it on a good month (don’t ask me about bad months).
Today, while making a break from work too, I was browsing YouTube a little, and found this woman here. I live in Eastern Europe, so 99% of what she says just doesn’t apply. But the other 1% does. Aka: apps, coupons, surveys, free store cash (though here you usually got the enforced policy that you can only cover a part of a check with it, but on the other hand, we don’t normally have the sale tax she paid in a couple places).
There were plenty of days where we had nothing to eat. And soon in I learned to just eat at work, the free little things they provide, and if we had more, like if office ordered us take-out food – to just skip meals at home whatsoever, so they have more to eat. And so I was watching this, smiling at her good spirits, and her constant mention of “I didn’t feel any less for doing this, they treated me same as everyone“, knowing exactly what she meant by it. And she went as far as walk around looking for change on the ground too, something my mum is notorious for doing.
So I thought I’ll show this wonderful kind spirit to you, and remind you that there’s nothing wrong in any of this. Do what you gotta do to get by, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Quoting The Count of Monte Cristo: “Wait and Hope“
I stood in the checkout behind a man who was buying all those little dried and salty snacks that are meant to be eaten with beer. Cashier picks up the last pack of dried little fishies, and goes:
“Is this also yours?” (to make sure it wasn’t already mine)
“If it stinks, it’s mine.”
In the meantime, I’m making a big and beautiful gothic necklace. There’s all kinds of troubles and beautiful things happening.