Summary: 02-08

This week just up and disappeared, I tell you. I don’t even know what really happened, other than me being drowned in work, and some people making fools of themselves. Well, let’s see anyway:

  • I finished second season of Lucifer on Netflix, currently here it’s the last one, tho some people already have the third one.
  • Second book of Witcher was re-printed, but right now I’ve nothing to spare, so I’ll kindly wait. Yet I am looking forward to the trip to the local bookstore to get it!
  • Pulled a muscle, and it hurts like hell.
  • Tidied up more of my crafting supplies, and made a gorgeous little thing with a dragon on it.
  • Got through a week of Inktober successfully, and am pretty sure I’ll do NaNoWriMo, tho I’m really not sure if I’ll make it public.
  • It’s cold, wet, and rainy out here, and I’m not happy about it at all. Mum is catching a cold. She had a biopsy on Tuesday, but we don’t know the results yet.
  • I’m almost in the 90s of read books this year, I think I’m hitting my records by the end of the year.
  • Watched “Unfriended” and I’m pretty sure that was the worst crap I have ever seen. But then I read “Do Androids Dream Electric Sheep”, and I loved it, so it fixed my mood a bit.
  • I’m wearing two pairs of socks, and am cold.


~Chu-chu bang chu-chu bank~

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Summary: 18-24

Hazy week, can’t describe it any other way. It started with a very hurtful thing, and I’m not someone who can just let go, so of course I’m carrying it about with me. Other than that, this is what happened, in no particular order:

  • Elder Scrolls Online started 5 days long event where you log in, kill a monster, and secure yourself one free box from the new Autumn set that’ll replace the Summer set on 28th this month.
  • GTA5 Online made new adversary mode called Bombushka, and that’s likely the worst shit they have ever made. No time limit, so if you’re good pilot, with poor chopper pilots on the enemy team – you can sit in that game for two hours, making less money with double payout than you would after playing five games in same time that don’t pay double.
  • I’ve read Pride And Prejudice and Zombies three times. Yes. And I’m still not sure what’s what. So there’s zombies, and all the girls want to get married, and not one man is what he seems?
  • Had a great Wednesday chat with my friend, and that was a breaking point where I stopped feeling so bad.
  • One friend from USA made an extremely good point about my situation in life, and how anyone could be in my place, including her.
  • Watched Lady Gaga‘s documentary on Netflix. I like the woman. But I loved the point where she was laying there, crying in pain, turned to camera and said: I don’t know what I’d do, if I didn’t have money. Because by that point people were feeding her meds, giving her shots, massaging her, basically trying to make her better right there, right then, something money can afford. My mother’s in a lot of pain, and it’s getting worse, and other than getting her painkiller shots every other day – we can do nothing more, because we can’t afford it.
  • I started Mabon – Autumn Equinox sale on [Etsy], it’s -22% on purchase + a little jewelry surprise. It’s going pretty well so far. (code: PUMPKING)
  • Am eagerly awaiting mail on Monday.
  • Cleaned a lot of things. My supplies are a lot more organized now, even tho it’s still not perfect.
  • Finished Jackdaw. Missing Lucien. Missing Laurent too for some reason. Painted Laurent.
  • I’ve decided I’ll get the two magpies on my hip, on the side. For one, that’s the least painful piece of skin, for two, I think hips suit the origin of magpies, for three, I love hip and side tattoos a lot. Due to my self-made tattoo being in progress for many years now, because I’m shit at typography, it’s far more likely magpies will be my first tattoo. And it’s very fitting, because two’s for joy. I’ll be happy when this is over. I will be.

Summary: 11-17

Not too much this week, not too much. But wasn’t a lazy week either. I mostly painted paintings, and repainted things, in between my actual work.

First of all, I painted Vernossiel from TW3: Wild Hunt, a female scoia’tael commander you can find somewhere in Velen (she’s part of a witcher contract quest), and I’m pretty damn happy about it. It didn’t get much feedback, but hey, life’s not all about feedback. Besides, that’s mostly due to friends going through their own rough times.

Got my silver colored Molotow paint marker at last, and went to town with it, so to speak. I repainted an orange skull goblet silver, because orange is not my thing, to be honest. I painted all the scraped up, shabby things that I had laying about too, like drawer handles, bottle caps, old cabochons. And painted some experimental pieces too, for testing purposes, because, say, fimo, has oils in it, and these paints are alcohol based, so I’ll see whether fimo can take the painting in any of the forms (raw pre-bake, post bake).

I’ve listened to the book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself“, and, honestly, some things make too much sense there. I might try to implement these things into my meditations, even if I don’t believe some of the things said there. Maybe I just need to change that part of me that doesn’t believe, and everything will be okay, who knows? We’ll see.

Then I tidied up some of my [Etsy] listings, not all of them so far, but quite a few. Yes, there’s new items among them therefor.

And, well, that’s about that. Other than the fact that we’r’e risking getting electricity cut off, mum’s in a shitton of pain, and it’s intensifying, and that we’re bumping heads in Netflix during the only time I can watch it – I welcome autumn. Got tea, got warm socks.

+1

Summary [14-20]

Well, nothing happened. I just worked, and worked more. Painted, I think, 4 things, and received commissions for another 4. Made two really good looking necklaces. The rest were translations that left me with little time to read.

Saw a wet, but seemingly jolly little birdy today, a very beautiful little thing, with clay-red head, and green-blue shoulders. Dropped him a few bits of the bread I was carrying. While brave little fella didn’t fly away with the relatively close proximity to a human, it still waited for me to back the hell away from the offerings before it started pecking at them.

Been drinking liters of cold brew tea due to the heat, and today, finally, it’s raining! Oh, chill air, how welcome you are. Tho don’t stay, and give some warmer days back now and again, okay?

Log: 08.01

The week has just begun, and there’s already bunches of stuff happening!

The new translation company I started working with uses this new (for me), and ridiculous system of payments. Ridiculous, because the system requires minimum of 50e for withdrawals. Meaning you have to get a full paycheck before it allows you to take it. What’s the damn point in that if you’re hobbyist etsy seller, for instance? (thou etsy now offers direct payments, and they’re very dutiful about it)

Last month we only had a couple of small works, so my full paycheck for the first month  was 50e, but then after taxes it’s about 43e, so I’ll get paid with this month. Or rather, I’ll be allowed my money then. It’s not deadly, since it’s not the only company I work with, but it’s still mighty unpleasant.

Currently I’m allowing myself a couple hours of free time to read a book, and evaluate the translation. This is a re-published book of A. Sapkowski “The Last Wish“, first book, and first collection of short stories in The Witcher Saga. We had these translated for us long before the first game was ever released, by real good publishers (thou funny covers). But this, so far, seems pretty good too. Translator has a good baggage of words, even thou some of them are funny in our language, and thus takes out a bit from this dark atmosphere Witcher books have. But other than that – it’s pretty fine.

They better not make next book “Blood of Elves“, or I’ll be bloody mad.

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Log: Summary 26-02

Well, Steam sale started. Got myself a ton of cards, and gift games, which is always appreciated, but really don’t feel obliged, I have more than I can play for the time being. My Dracula games collection is pretty much complete too, and I’m trying real hard to play that first point-and-click adventure game, but wooh geez it’s difficult with the movements.

It’s hard to remember what happened during the week, my mind’s a scramble. I’m under a lot of stress, and in a lot of anxiety, so all days become one, and it just doesn’t occur to me to mark things down as they go, because, well, why would you think that this meager event would become the highlight of your week at the end of it?

But on the good news, I’ve a lot of work, and a few commissions to that. Paid work is great! Gives me hope! The good kind, the solid kind, not the “maybe it’d happen” kind, not the “a miracle might happen” kind.

Log [2017-06-06]

Week so far is tad strange. But so far it’s not too bad.

I worked myself out of the stupor, made a ton of beautiful things, and will now schedule patreon too, so that patrons get the most for the support, and love that they give me.

It’s weird how both too sunny, and too overcast are both very bad for pictures. I can work it out of the picture either way, but that’s exactly it, it means more work on the photographs.

The paintings are going slower, but they’re still going. I’m a bit annoyed that the colors in pallet get all kinds of weird – they either dry out their oils, or their oils turn them into goo. Deep-dishes are a bit bad if you’re not using large amounts of paint at once.

Sold last of the encased flower pendants, so now I’ve no more actual flower pieces. I should get more, but gathering nature’s materials for crafting is very bothersome…

Sunday: Summary [29-04]

Oh, so many things happened.

The week started with deep-ass depression, really I felt like this was it, I can’t continue with things. And I feel best when I work, so being unable to work means I feel even worse in the long run. But bit by bit, encouraged by friends, I pushed a sentence after a sentence, a bend after a bend, and a stroke after a stroke. Blog entries were all over the place, I admit, but at least they were there.

I played some extra video games on mute, just so I could listen to audio books while doing mundane things as gathering silk, so that the beast in me that requires I work all the time doesn’t think I slack. In the end that really de-stressed me, so I’m grateful to have all those games, so many of them being given to me by friends.

Books are great, and I encourage each and every single one of you, even those who read one book every few month, join some book-y community. Felicia Day’s “Vaginal Fantasy” is great, for instance, and no, it’s not just for the ladies, they read all kinds of romance stories, weird, normal, fantasy, sci-fi, and yes, queer too. The people you connect with will be worth the effort. I promise you a sense of accomplishment when you finish a book everyone’s now reading, and you can join into the discussion too. I’m lucky to say that I have a lot of reader friends, one of them is this wonderful young woman, from [P.S. I Love That Book], and her videos inspire me to read more. She’s a living proof that no matter what book you pick up – it’s good, and that you do need to expand your horizons on your own, because marketing will not do it for you.

And she’s not the only reading friend that I’ve got! There’s two that pry the door open for books I’d like to read, but feel… Well, bad about reading them, I felt afraid to review them, but they, eventually, made it feel normal, and perfectly fine. There’s one who is just getting into the booky stuff via crafting and listening to audio books, and I’m real happy for her. And then there’s one who gives a whole new perspective to books, because she likes them for whole different reasons, and makes all of us see what we might have missed.

I also made two pieces of jewelry, one is not yet finishes, because I want a different chain for it, which just never came, so I guess I’ll have to figure it out, and the other one is already on [<a href=”http://soukyan.etsy.com”>Etsy</a>%5D and is called Fisher King and Nimue (lady of the lake), due to the bead primarily purpose: to be visible underwater from afar. I sold a fair amount of jewelry too, so I really need to step up my game before I ran out of everything except earrings. Earrings are rare sale, really, I don’t think many people wear them anymore, which is perfectly fine, I like making necklaces and bracelets more anyway!

Two wonderful artists offered to make commissions on my behalf. People donate to my fundraiser, and they do commissions for those people in exchange. I admit, I might have teared up a bit when I read what they’re doing. Why would you sacrifice your time for someone you barely, if at all, know? But there’s kind people on this Earth.

And thank You to my Patrons, all four of you. Know that I’d understand completely if one day you decide that this was enough for you, and you’d like to move on ❤ I appreciate the thought and time you spent there, and there’s really nothing I won’t show a bit later to public anyway. I’m saying this, because all four of you are my friends, okay? If you were strangers, this talk wouldn’t be happening, I promise!

So, all in all, this was a bad-to-good week. I have hope again.

Indifference

I went to post office, counting numbers in my mind of how much might it cost to send two small packages to Canada. People walk past me, children, older women. In front of me walks an older man in one of those old brown cheap suits all our grandpa’s probably had. He got my attention, because of the staggering step he made. Then second one. With the third one something stopped obeying him in his body, and he fell onto the bike lane.

Here my mind started playing scenes with people rushing towards him, calling ambulance, someone yelling “move aside, I’m a doctor!“, but you might guess – that didn’t happen. I watched one woman walk past. Then another. Children turned back to look, but kept their distance.

I ran to the man, that’s like five steps really, shook his shoulder, asked him what happened, you know, the ordinary things you do when someone succumbs, falls, or otherwise shows ailment, and/or lack of response. This was the case, the man didn’t respond, but there was no smell of alcohol either, so whole that “ugh, must be a drunkard, so people were afraid to get near” didn’t count. I called the ambulance then.

Children came closer, and since I was in a hurry, I admit, I asked them to wave the ambulance here when they see it coming, just in case, and ran to the post office. Funny thing? All scene was perfectly visible from post office windows, so I could keep an eye on the kids. I saw the ambulance come. I saw them pick the man up. I saw them drive away with him, sirens blaring, and children getting on their way. NOW people looked. NOW people stopped to see. It was safe to gawk.

Here’s the thing. This could be ANY of us, without exceptions. Be you the healthiest damn vegan on Earth, be you a jogger rolling with that healthy life. Be you young, and fit. This still could be you, and people might walk past you just as well. And if that doesn’t get hit you into your consciousness, remember that this could also be your parent.

I’d say no less than 15 years back my mother slipped and fell near a store. As a kid I wasn’t much worried, it was daytime anyway, maybe she went to another store. When she staggered in home bloody, I realized I should’ve been worried. She said she couldn’t move, her head was ringing, she could hardly see. It was a busy place, so not a damn chance on Earth that no one saw her there, on the floor. But people didn’t care. Maybe they thought themselves above this woman, who might, MIGHT be a drunkard. And on that “maybe/might” indifference was built.

2017 – 04 – 22 – a week of unfortunate events

My mouse broke, my lamp broke, my headphones broke.

Headphones, admittedly, broke a little earlier. I fixed them by taping a hair thing, accessory like a little bow similar in shape to that of headphones base, onto that said broken base. Then the cord broke… Friend got me a replacement, and now it works good. Tho to be honest, they’re a bit loose on my head now, so a lot of sound comes in, and I find that to be disturbing most of the time, since I’m used to working in silence or listening to audio books.

Then my mouse broke. Left button decided enough is enough, and the cord agreed, so slowly but surely it was going to its death. I’m gonna miss my black-white-red skull of a mouse, but what can you do. Again, thanks to friends I’ve a replacement. And it’s green. I like it.

And then, as a cherry on top, my lamp decided to go out. Most of my work and all of my hobbies require me have a light, because my work space is behind a bookshelf which is packed to the point where light barely comes in. I was told these might be more expensive, the bulbs. But luckily there was a sale, and I found one for 1.50e or something. Might not last, but for now it’ll definitely do.

So all in all, I’m still pulling.