Log | The Video Games; eso, gtav

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You know what’s good? Reward systems. And lemme tell you how mine works thus.

I have 4 calendars on my table, since I am unable to find one that could do all the things I need. For I need to write things down, but I also need to mark things up. Usually if you can write things, there’s too much room to mark things, and you don’t have as good a visual as you’d like. Then there’s also a planner which I draw into my notebook myself. It has month title, days – horizontal; things I want to do daily – vertical. And so I just mark days out. The goal is to have one vertical line filled for the day, and have as many of them as possible. By no means do I aim for it to be fully filled, let’s be reasonable with ourselves (but at the same time, let’s push ourselves to the limit and see what’s beyond it).

So, I have daily things, plus I have daily work pieces, since I have 4 blogs, two groups, and two more side projects. Some are paid, some, like this one here, are here for pleasure of mine, and ease of my friends.

Say, today is my busiest day, but I choose to have 2 log entries too. I could take them out, and just claim it is a busy day, I won’t work extra. But how will I ever expand the limits, if I don’t push at them whenever I reach them?

Enter Reward System.

 

Everyone has guilty pleasures, I am sure of it. The thing between guilty pleasure and just a pleasure is the “shouldn’t” factor. Say, you want ice-cream, but you also want to lose weight, buy that book, go on that trip. Here’s how you can use reward system: every time you want the ice-cream, take the money that the treat would cost, and bring it back home, without buying the ice-cream. Put it in a jar or something. Next thing you know, you’ll have the spare money for the book, and if books are a guilty pleasure too – some of the “shouldn’t” factor is removed, for you wrestled your other wants for it. One battle at a time is good enough, believe me.

In my case, it’s video games. I like to pretend I’m working by turning off video game sound, and turning on an audio book. Yes, that does mean I have new material for three blogs. But why do I feel so bad anyway? Because most likely after the 6 hours audio book to play out on double speed – I didn’t do anything else. Sometimes I get motivated to work, but that’s usually not with games that I play with no sound on. It is more often those games that engage me with a story, so I’m really just tricking myself.

Instead what I do now, is I do all the work, even the one that I didn’t want to do, even the stuff that I am too lazy to do, even the things I don’t really have to do. I just do it. And then, at the set limit of time, I can start playing video games, sound on or off, don’t matter. It removes the “guilty” from pleasure to me. And as I said, I am absolutely certain there are many, many aspects in life where you can use this in.

Just make sure you stay nice, kind, and healthy, okay? You’re great, I love you, and you should love you too.

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Log | Why I like Crafting more than I like Painting

I was making a very special Shades of Magic inspired bookmark (V.E. Schwab books, they’re wonderful), and I realized there’s a rhythm to it.

  • – wire open
  • spacer bead ~
  • spacer >
  • cap (
  • BEAD
  • cap )
  • spacer <
  • spacer bead ~
  • wire closes –

I like things to have a rhythm. It makes it much easier for me to get a hang of it, and not get tired of it. That’s why my fav songs are all of very distinct rhythm. That’s why I like rap more than any other genre. That’s why I don’t like watching movies all that much. Jewelry making has a rhythm. And I like painting best when I have a chance to do it every day or at least very often, for the rhythm there is very subtle, and not that easy to catch (for me).

Summary | 30-05

What a week, I tell you. Got sick. Got stressed. Got sicker. Got into a dark slum of mood. Read a book on Dracula, got better. Just like that, yes. So what happened, let’s see:

  • One of my work contracts ends this month, and I’m mighty upset about it. Because mother’s insurance ends this month too. Meaning December will be lesser income and higher expenses month, and I am terrified. Yes, I am actively seeking another freelance translation job English>Lithuanian, or any proper projects that pay. I would be able to adjust my schedule, yes.
  • I’ve received an Elk postcard from Sweden, and it was the funniest thing. I like it.
  • I am pretty done with organizing all the goodies I have received from USA, and have already made a bracelet. I also understood that I think “oh, this is so vampiric looking”, while no one else sees it. Great, whatever!
  • Jeaniene Frost has entered my top favorite authors. How does one call a trinity that is made out of four?
  • My soap dispenser is driving me nuts. You pump – air. Pump again – grain dollop of soap. Pump the third time – HERE, HAVE HALF A BOTTLE YOU DIRTY DIRTY HUMAN!
  • I am extremely tempted to paint my table black. But I don’t want to waste the very good paint. But this is the only paint I have ever worked with that doesn’t have a hard smell to it.
  • I might be obsessed with Dracula more than I thought. The warlord, not the vampire, though I do not mind the vampire either. Thank you all those who send me what they find with him, I appreciate everything!
  • NaNoWriMo is going far better than I thought. Knock on wood. Just in case.
  • I have Iorveth in a picture frame on my shelf. In the future I hope to have the Impaler too.
  • Couldn’t sleep these past two days. They’re overheating our apartment. We’ve no say in this, no control over the heat either.
  • For some reason the mat finish of my laptop mouse pad is peeling, leaving a super mirrory surface. I don’t use it, so I don’t care, I just smacked two panda stickers on it! Pandas fix everything.

~Red lips like strawberry wine! Her kiss says she’ll never be mine~

Summary: 02-08

This week just up and disappeared, I tell you. I don’t even know what really happened, other than me being drowned in work, and some people making fools of themselves. Well, let’s see anyway:

  • I finished second season of Lucifer on Netflix, currently here it’s the last one, tho some people already have the third one.
  • Second book of Witcher was re-printed, but right now I’ve nothing to spare, so I’ll kindly wait. Yet I am looking forward to the trip to the local bookstore to get it!
  • Pulled a muscle, and it hurts like hell.
  • Tidied up more of my crafting supplies, and made a gorgeous little thing with a dragon on it.
  • Got through a week of Inktober successfully, and am pretty sure I’ll do NaNoWriMo, tho I’m really not sure if I’ll make it public.
  • It’s cold, wet, and rainy out here, and I’m not happy about it at all. Mum is catching a cold. She had a biopsy on Tuesday, but we don’t know the results yet.
  • I’m almost in the 90s of read books this year, I think I’m hitting my records by the end of the year.
  • Watched “Unfriended” and I’m pretty sure that was the worst crap I have ever seen. But then I read “Do Androids Dream Electric Sheep”, and I loved it, so it fixed my mood a bit.
  • I’m wearing two pairs of socks, and am cold.


~Chu-chu bang chu-chu bank~

Summary: 18-24

Hazy week, can’t describe it any other way. It started with a very hurtful thing, and I’m not someone who can just let go, so of course I’m carrying it about with me. Other than that, this is what happened, in no particular order:

  • Elder Scrolls Online started 5 days long event where you log in, kill a monster, and secure yourself one free box from the new Autumn set that’ll replace the Summer set on 28th this month.
  • GTA5 Online made new adversary mode called Bombushka, and that’s likely the worst shit they have ever made. No time limit, so if you’re good pilot, with poor chopper pilots on the enemy team – you can sit in that game for two hours, making less money with double payout than you would after playing five games in same time that don’t pay double.
  • I’ve read Pride And Prejudice and Zombies three times. Yes. And I’m still not sure what’s what. So there’s zombies, and all the girls want to get married, and not one man is what he seems?
  • Had a great Wednesday chat with my friend, and that was a breaking point where I stopped feeling so bad.
  • One friend from USA made an extremely good point about my situation in life, and how anyone could be in my place, including her.
  • Watched Lady Gaga‘s documentary on Netflix. I like the woman. But I loved the point where she was laying there, crying in pain, turned to camera and said: I don’t know what I’d do, if I didn’t have money. Because by that point people were feeding her meds, giving her shots, massaging her, basically trying to make her better right there, right then, something money can afford. My mother’s in a lot of pain, and it’s getting worse, and other than getting her painkiller shots every other day – we can do nothing more, because we can’t afford it.
  • I started Mabon – Autumn Equinox sale on [Etsy], it’s -22% on purchase + a little jewelry surprise. It’s going pretty well so far. (code: PUMPKING)
  • Am eagerly awaiting mail on Monday.
  • Cleaned a lot of things. My supplies are a lot more organized now, even tho it’s still not perfect.
  • Finished Jackdaw. Missing Lucien. Missing Laurent too for some reason. Painted Laurent.
  • I’ve decided I’ll get the two magpies on my hip, on the side. For one, that’s the least painful piece of skin, for two, I think hips suit the origin of magpies, for three, I love hip and side tattoos a lot. Due to my self-made tattoo being in progress for many years now, because I’m shit at typography, it’s far more likely magpies will be my first tattoo. And it’s very fitting, because two’s for joy. I’ll be happy when this is over. I will be.

Summary: 11-17

Not too much this week, not too much. But wasn’t a lazy week either. I mostly painted paintings, and repainted things, in between my actual work.

First of all, I painted Vernossiel from TW3: Wild Hunt, a female scoia’tael commander you can find somewhere in Velen (she’s part of a witcher contract quest), and I’m pretty damn happy about it. It didn’t get much feedback, but hey, life’s not all about feedback. Besides, that’s mostly due to friends going through their own rough times.

Got my silver colored Molotow paint marker at last, and went to town with it, so to speak. I repainted an orange skull goblet silver, because orange is not my thing, to be honest. I painted all the scraped up, shabby things that I had laying about too, like drawer handles, bottle caps, old cabochons. And painted some experimental pieces too, for testing purposes, because, say, fimo, has oils in it, and these paints are alcohol based, so I’ll see whether fimo can take the painting in any of the forms (raw pre-bake, post bake).

I’ve listened to the book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself“, and, honestly, some things make too much sense there. I might try to implement these things into my meditations, even if I don’t believe some of the things said there. Maybe I just need to change that part of me that doesn’t believe, and everything will be okay, who knows? We’ll see.

Then I tidied up some of my [Etsy] listings, not all of them so far, but quite a few. Yes, there’s new items among them therefor.

And, well, that’s about that. Other than the fact that we’r’e risking getting electricity cut off, mum’s in a shitton of pain, and it’s intensifying, and that we’re bumping heads in Netflix during the only time I can watch it – I welcome autumn. Got tea, got warm socks.

+1

Summary [14-20]

Well, nothing happened. I just worked, and worked more. Painted, I think, 4 things, and received commissions for another 4. Made two really good looking necklaces. The rest were translations that left me with little time to read.

Saw a wet, but seemingly jolly little birdy today, a very beautiful little thing, with clay-red head, and green-blue shoulders. Dropped him a few bits of the bread I was carrying. While brave little fella didn’t fly away with the relatively close proximity to a human, it still waited for me to back the hell away from the offerings before it started pecking at them.

Been drinking liters of cold brew tea due to the heat, and today, finally, it’s raining! Oh, chill air, how welcome you are. Tho don’t stay, and give some warmer days back now and again, okay?

Log: 08.01

The week has just begun, and there’s already bunches of stuff happening!

The new translation company I started working with uses this new (for me), and ridiculous system of payments. Ridiculous, because the system requires minimum of 50e for withdrawals. Meaning you have to get a full paycheck before it allows you to take it. What’s the damn point in that if you’re hobbyist etsy seller, for instance? (thou etsy now offers direct payments, and they’re very dutiful about it)

Last month we only had a couple of small works, so my full paycheck for the first month  was 50e, but then after taxes it’s about 43e, so I’ll get paid with this month. Or rather, I’ll be allowed my money then. It’s not deadly, since it’s not the only company I work with, but it’s still mighty unpleasant.

Currently I’m allowing myself a couple hours of free time to read a book, and evaluate the translation. This is a re-published book of A. Sapkowski “The Last Wish“, first book, and first collection of short stories in The Witcher Saga. We had these translated for us long before the first game was ever released, by real good publishers (thou funny covers). But this, so far, seems pretty good too. Translator has a good baggage of words, even thou some of them are funny in our language, and thus takes out a bit from this dark atmosphere Witcher books have. But other than that – it’s pretty fine.

They better not make next book “Blood of Elves“, or I’ll be bloody mad.

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Log [2017-06-06]

Week so far is tad strange. But so far it’s not too bad.

I worked myself out of the stupor, made a ton of beautiful things, and will now schedule patreon too, so that patrons get the most for the support, and love that they give me.

It’s weird how both too sunny, and too overcast are both very bad for pictures. I can work it out of the picture either way, but that’s exactly it, it means more work on the photographs.

The paintings are going slower, but they’re still going. I’m a bit annoyed that the colors in pallet get all kinds of weird – they either dry out their oils, or their oils turn them into goo. Deep-dishes are a bit bad if you’re not using large amounts of paint at once.

Sold last of the encased flower pendants, so now I’ve no more actual flower pieces. I should get more, but gathering nature’s materials for crafting is very bothersome…

Sunday: Summary [29-04]

Oh, so many things happened.

The week started with deep-ass depression, really I felt like this was it, I can’t continue with things. And I feel best when I work, so being unable to work means I feel even worse in the long run. But bit by bit, encouraged by friends, I pushed a sentence after a sentence, a bend after a bend, and a stroke after a stroke. Blog entries were all over the place, I admit, but at least they were there.

I played some extra video games on mute, just so I could listen to audio books while doing mundane things as gathering silk, so that the beast in me that requires I work all the time doesn’t think I slack. In the end that really de-stressed me, so I’m grateful to have all those games, so many of them being given to me by friends.

Books are great, and I encourage each and every single one of you, even those who read one book every few month, join some book-y community. Felicia Day’s “Vaginal Fantasy” is great, for instance, and no, it’s not just for the ladies, they read all kinds of romance stories, weird, normal, fantasy, sci-fi, and yes, queer too. The people you connect with will be worth the effort. I promise you a sense of accomplishment when you finish a book everyone’s now reading, and you can join into the discussion too. I’m lucky to say that I have a lot of reader friends, one of them is this wonderful young woman, from [P.S. I Love That Book], and her videos inspire me to read more. She’s a living proof that no matter what book you pick up – it’s good, and that you do need to expand your horizons on your own, because marketing will not do it for you.

And she’s not the only reading friend that I’ve got! There’s two that pry the door open for books I’d like to read, but feel… Well, bad about reading them, I felt afraid to review them, but they, eventually, made it feel normal, and perfectly fine. There’s one who is just getting into the booky stuff via crafting and listening to audio books, and I’m real happy for her. And then there’s one who gives a whole new perspective to books, because she likes them for whole different reasons, and makes all of us see what we might have missed.

I also made two pieces of jewelry, one is not yet finishes, because I want a different chain for it, which just never came, so I guess I’ll have to figure it out, and the other one is already on [<a href=”http://soukyan.etsy.com”>Etsy</a>%5D and is called Fisher King and Nimue (lady of the lake), due to the bead primarily purpose: to be visible underwater from afar. I sold a fair amount of jewelry too, so I really need to step up my game before I ran out of everything except earrings. Earrings are rare sale, really, I don’t think many people wear them anymore, which is perfectly fine, I like making necklaces and bracelets more anyway!

Two wonderful artists offered to make commissions on my behalf. People donate to my fundraiser, and they do commissions for those people in exchange. I admit, I might have teared up a bit when I read what they’re doing. Why would you sacrifice your time for someone you barely, if at all, know? But there’s kind people on this Earth.

And thank You to my Patrons, all four of you. Know that I’d understand completely if one day you decide that this was enough for you, and you’d like to move on ❤ I appreciate the thought and time you spent there, and there’s really nothing I won’t show a bit later to public anyway. I’m saying this, because all four of you are my friends, okay? If you were strangers, this talk wouldn’t be happening, I promise!

So, all in all, this was a bad-to-good week. I have hope again.